Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Blended family blessing!

Moe and Paige Becnel, who wrote the book God Breathes on Blended Families, define a blended family as any marriage in which at least one of the spouses becomes a stepparent (new parent), regardless of the age of the children.

I come from a functional blended family. It would take a flowchart to give you a complete understanding of my family. The simple version is his, hers, and ours. My sister is the his, my brother is the hers, and I'm the ours. Growing up I was unaware of the fact that I was a member of a blended family. Sure, my sister had another mother in PA that she visited on holidays, and I knew that my brother's birth dad died when he was very little, but being part of a blended family was not a daily thought. I never considered my siblings "half" siblings and although my mom says there was some parental strife when I was quite young, I don't remember it. So, when I fell in love with a man who had a child and an ex, I thought I was prepared to embark on the blended family journey. Boy, was I mistaken! You can never be ready for that!

The early months were very difficult. There was so much to work out and resolve. And since this is a family blog, I won't pour out all the details, but let's just say that in the beginning, no one was putting God first.

We all moved to the Raleigh area and Matt and I began attending a new church. We enrolled in a small group that used the Becnels' book as the curriculum. We learned tons in that class. It strengthened our marriage so much, helped us prioritize our family (God first, spouse second, children third), allowed me understand my role, and set the foundation for what we've become today. Now, don't let me fool you...things still got sticky sometimes, but we discovered that as we gave God first place, he blessed our family!

Fast forward to today. Jacob's mom, stepdad, Matt and I all attend the same church. We attend ball games together (at Jacob's ball games you could expect a fan club: 4 parents, a baby brother, 6 grandparents, 2 great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins). We can sit down and have casual conversations together. We make decisions together. We enjoy the newest addition to our blended family together. We extend high grace and mercy when things aren't exactly as we would want them. We compromise. We're now all on the same team with only one enemy, Satan, and we will fight for our family!!

I am in no way saying that our blended family is perfect, but I am in awe of the miracle He has performed in our families and am so very thankful to God for the transformation, unity, and blessings He has provided for us!!

Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God" NLT

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." NLT

Zechariah 4:6 "...It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies." NLT


The Eckerts said...

It's amazing to see how God is always waiting to bless us if we just put Him first! Good job being so obedient. I can see how much it is paying off.

jamie in rose cottage said...

Thanks for sharing that. I'm the mom in a blended family, too. :-)