Sunday, October 14, 2007

Nesting is for the Birds

Hello everyone, I wanted to share that my BEAUTIFUL bride has moved into the "Nesting" stage of her pregnancy with a vengeance. For those of you unfamiliar with the "nesting" stage, I'm including a excerpt from a webpage dedicated to the education of the ignorant.

Pregnancy Weekly says...

"Around the fifth month of pregnancy, the "nesting" instinct can set in. This is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world."...blah, blah, blah,,,

For me, here's the most disturbing part of it all.

blah, blah, blah,,, "Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently. Women have reported throwing away perfectly good sheets and towels because they felt the strong need to have "brand new, clean" sheets and towels in their home. They have also reported doing things like taking apart the knobs on kitchen cupboards, just so they could disinfect the screws attached to the knobs. "

Now some of you may be thinking that I'm concerned with the portion that says "perfectly good sheets and towels" finding the garbage can. Let me assure you that I'm much more concerned with the "seemingly irrational behaviors" part. SEEMINGLY??? Who the heck wrote that? Yesterday, she was laughing AND crying at the same time, and I was seriously concerned that I was the reason for the crying part. My dilemma is that I've got approximately 45 seconds worth of short term memory when I'm in a room with a working boob-tube (My mother used to call it that.) and I just happened to be in the room with the boob-tube on. I can only assume that I'm the boob. Alright, here's the deal with 45 seconds. I'm good for staying on topic for the past 45 seconds while a TV's on, anything beyond that and I'm lost in the sauce (boob).

My wife's super-power is growing a baby in her belly. My "super-power" is the ability to respond to her question, "Are you paying attention to me?" with the recitation of her last statement/question within 2 or 3 words. IF, and only IF, the, "Are you paying attention to me?", question is presented within 45 seconds of the time her statement or question was first presented.

Alright, back to the task at hand.

I'm not sure the exact day it all started, but currently we have this funny little (I'm being nice) list on our refrigerator that's beckoning her name. I haven't yet succumbed to the pressure of including things on the list. Somehow I know that THAT would fall into the same category as telling on myself because of guilt and fortunately I've matured past that stage. PHHHT!

Here are some of the other things I know:
1. I know that scratching a chore off the list won't make it go away.
2. I know my handwriting is messy, so I couldn't erase and then re-write the list without her knowing.
3. I know that I'd try to be cute and add something like "#5 Have Wild, Passionate, _ _ _ with my loving husband. (ha,ha,ha)

And Here's a testament to our undying list...

If you look closely, you'll see
that the list has grown. At the rate we're moving, look below, you'll see that we're gonna have the cleanest, newest (i.e. Kitchen floor is short for *NEW* Kitchen floor), most straightened up house,
this side of the neighborhood. I
think I saw a lady down the
street that "may" have been
pregnant so I'll just claim this
side of the neighborhood.

Folks, I'm really having fun with this blog and I hope that I'm allowed to "blog" again. 8-)

In closing I'll say that I have really been enjoying my time with my beautiful wife while we go through this miracle called pregnancy. She is a beautiful wonderful person and we have been blessed to have been brought together.

P.S. I sure am thankful that my responsibilities exclude the physical act of giving birth.


Samantha Dassler Barlow said...

Hey Matt! I love your sense of humor, but does the pregnant lady know you hijacked her blog? May the force be with you. :)

Anonymous said...

Matt don't know if we have told you enough just how much we appreicate and love you. We could have never choosen a better person for Jennifer. You are so good to her and have so much patience with her family (me). I pray that all goes well with the cleaning and nesting! Tell baby that if we can help to call us.
Love ya,
Mema and Papa

Papa said...

Please forgive Mema's spelling. She gets so excited when thinking about another grandchild that she has senior moments.


Anonymous said...

You are too funny. I have to show Iain so that he is prepared in the coming months. Have fun with your list! Love, Mary

Anonymous said...

poor guy.... Iain

Anonymous said...

All I can say is ............ "Wow"..

Love and Hugs,
Grandma and Pappy from the North